Henar Cabrera
Coming full circle
Reading Time: 10 minutes
Life coach and reiki master
When we reached out to Henar Cabrera, she was living in Dublin and working as an International Customer Service Representative for Blue Nile, an American online jewellery retailer. Fast forward to our interview only two weeks later, and she had relocated to San Sebastian in Spain, and was proudly calling herself a life coach and reiki master. We got swept away by one of those conversations that seemed to take on a life of its own. Full of twists and turns, just like Henar’s life, in fact.
Growing up, Henar didn’t venture much further than her native Madrid, but her life changed gear the moment she understood she had to scratch that travel bug itch.
Audencia’s EIBM programme allowed her to lay the first stone of her international career. From Spain, to France, to Germany, to China, to Ireland and back to Spain, Henar’s journey is a travelogue as much as a story of professional transition and spiritual quest. A quest for healing from childhood trauma, for independence, for Mr. Right, for a purposeful job, and, above all, for finding her true self. Henar has come full circle and returned to her home country; along the way, she has found her mission, to motivate and heal others so they can live their best life. Full of wisdom, Henar’s words encourage us to soothe our mind and to trust and listen to our heart, the essence of our being and a reservoir of joy. They will inspire anyone who finds themselves questioning their life choices.
Tell me a little bit about your childhood in Madrid
It wasn’t all that straightforward, dealing with my childhood wounds; it took me years of therapy to accept that parents bring their own childhood traumas to the way they raise their kids, and that they did the best they could with the resources they had. As a child, I was an introvert, with dreams of a fulfilling life, imagining the full package: a successful career, a loving husband, and a house full of children. Now I suspect that those desires were in fact other people’s projections, rather than my own dreams.
Was the international career part of your plan?
The urge to venture outside my home country came to me quite late, with parents who were civil servants, I was raised in a very Spanish or local mind-set. The international seed started to grow after I went to study on a university exchange programme in Utrecht in The Netherlands. When I returned to Madrid, I got a job in TV news production for three years. I am aware of how glamorous that sounds, and I was grateful for the experience but at the same time, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t my calling. I knew that something was missing, I craved adventure, I wanted to learn new languages and immerse myself in different cultures.
I was insecure about this dream for a long time so I decided to go abroad again to study, thinking it would give me the confidence and the foundations I needed for an international career. When I discovered Audencia’s European and International Business Management programme, it felt like the absolute right path to take.
What appealed to you about the EIBM programme?
The programme consisted of a rotation every three months in three different countries: Spain (Bilbao), France (Nantes) and the UK (Bradford), which I found particularly exciting. It focused on international business with a solid curriculum in international law, finance and human resources. However, to be honest, I picked this programme primarily for the international opportunities it offered.
Unlike many students, I had no preconceived plan when I enrolled. I admired and, at times, envied those rational and determined people, and blamed myself for my lack of direction and confidence. I am much gentler with myself now, because I recognise how much of a leap of faith this move had been for me. Today I know myself better and I accept that intuition and spirituality drive me more than rationality.
Did the programme fulfil its promise?
The curriculum was heavy on numbers, which overwhelmed me for the first few months, especially as I was studying in a different language. However, I surprised myself with my ability to hang in there despite the difficulties. I felt encouraged by a strong force, which I can only attribute to God. I was not at ease with the networking aspect either, but I knew that it was an essential part of the experience. I pushed myself to connect with the other students and gradually it felt more natural. In France and Spain, my timetable was quite dense. At Bradford, the schedule was lighter with more assignments than contact hours so this gave me more time to socialise. This was how I met the man who took me to China…
Tell us about your professional peregrinations
I found a job in Paris; which I don’t think I would have managed without my experience in Nantes. It was a blissful time, working for Windrose, selling documentaries and other TV content all over the world. It was the perfect way to combine my media background with my international business skills. The French community accepted me as one of their own. I was lucky to attend high profile events such as the Cannes International TV market and it was gratifying to realise that I had become comfortable with networking. It goes to show that you can always develop your ideal personality type. I recall one evening in Cannes, when we celebrated a friend’s birthday: she was Russian – we’d met in Spain – and we partied with interesting people from all over the world. I felt in total harmony in this international environment, as if the stars had aligned for me.
When my boss took on a role in Germany, she suggested I go with her and I accepted in a heartbeat, excited to step into yet another universe. However, after a few months, the workload and the stress had become so unbearable that I one day I suffered a panic attack in in the office. My inner awareness kicked in again and pushed me to extract myself from this unhealthy situation. I realised that my curiosity was tempting me to explore even further. By a strange twist of fate, my boyfriend at the time – with whom I’d had a long-distance relationship for several years, had just decided to return to Taiwan where he was from so I upped sticks and went with him. The administrative formalities to obtain a visa were frankly a hassle but then Swedbrand, an international packaging company, recruited and sponsored me. I enjoyed some business trips in Europe, however I pushed myself to reach my sales target at the cost of my own wellbeing again. Then in 2016, I got a job as a customer service representative at Blue Nile, an online jewellery company, and that position was such a blessing.
So what led you to coaching?
After suffering from work-related anxiety for many years, I finally found working environments in China that made me feel at peace. I was in the right state of mind for some introspective work, and this is how I discovered my interest in coaching. I realised that my friends often came to me to share whatever challenge there were going through, and I was naturally a good listener. I started to believe that I could leverage this trustworthiness and make a career out of it so I enrolled on evening classes in coaching and stepped into a close-knit community. This was a wonderful and balanced phase in my life: my daytime job provided me with an international outlook and stability and in the evenings, I was exploring this new activity that made me feel so alive. I started organising motivational and self-development workshops as a freelance coach. I was amazed to have found a path that I could build with my own hands and which gave me so much joy.
Why did you move back to Europe then?
The relationship with my now ex-boyfriend didn’t work out. With hindsight, I could have predicted that before moving to the other side of the world with him, but I don’t have any regrets. I had to go through those experiences to gain self-awareness. So, I found myself single in China where I felt settled, with a job that I liked, a supportive friendship network and this fulfilling passion project with coaching. Nevertheless, I was craving a relationship; I continued dating, but I had a feeling that I would find love in Europe. I remember going to Spain for the summer holidays and realising how lovely life was in Europe. I decided that a new lifestyle was within my reach and that I should move while I was still young and unattached. My employer, Blue Nile, had a European base in Ireland, and they were happy to transfer me there.
So was Ireland the place that finally ticked all the boxes?
Not quite, but here’s a scoop! I found my true love and life partner in Ireland, and we are engaged to be married! I also certified as a life coach, which is a proud achievement. My corporate life, however, felt unsettling again. My sales targets had increased, along with my stress levels so one week ago, I resigned from secure employment to embrace my soul mission. I hadn’t imagined that my transition towards coaching would be so radical and sudden. My initial plan was to build a secure client base before moving into coaching full time, but there was a point when I felt totally bogged down. Carrying out both activities in parallel became difficult because my corporate job was demanding for my brain, and when I coached it became difficult to shift my focus to my heart and guts. I am grateful to my employer for their trust, but I have accepted that for me there is something more to life than a 9 to 5 corporate job, which suffocates my soul. Today I am ready to spend more time being closer to the unknown and the uncomfortable, until I figure out the next stage of my life.
Congratulations on the upcoming wedding! Where is your fiancé from? Ireland? China?
Ha ha! He’s Australian actually! He teaches English and we share the same passion for discovering other cultures. If we add up the countries that we have each lived in, it comes to 13! We met in Ireland and he’s the one who felt the urge to relocate. He was craving the sun and the sea and he found a job in San Sebastian. He has offered to support me while I set up my business and I trust him in his knowledge of what is best for the two of us. So I have moved back to Spain out of love for him and this is how I have reconnected with my homeland after 12 years away.
So have you managed to align with your life purpose?
I am definitely on the right track! I coach people in finding and planning for what they truly desire. I am also a reiki master; the objective is therapeutic, it’s about helping people to heal from past trauma, so they feel in harmony with the present and themselves. And since I am passionate about relationships and dating, I also offer what I call “Eat, Pray, Love” coaching. Some women -including me, have been struggling with toxic and even abusive relationships. They get caught up in the same pattern, which often also affects their professional relationships. I am here to support women navigating through a breakup, healing a broken heart, returning to the dating arena, and forming a sacred union. All these disciplines can be powerful tools to make the most of this one short life we have.
Do you regret your past educational and career choices or even see them as a waste of time?
I have no regrets whatsoever, I have been figuring out my life as it’s been unfolding. It took me these long exploratory phases to accept that corporate life is not for everyone, despite the remarkable comfort and security it brings. My parents still struggle to understand my choices but I know that the pressure that they still put on me to achieve their version of success comes from a good place. I value their opinions, but I am now much better at following my own desires.
Are there any recommendations you would like to share with Audencia students and alumni who are currently trying to figure out their own personal journeys?
As a life coach, I don’t like to give advice. I know that people have to figure out their own journey. What I am certain about is that fulfilment starts with being aware of the expectations that others have for us – our parents, friends, teachers, etc. Then it’s about connecting with our heart; our heart is wiser than the rational model we have been taught to follow. My recommendation is to listen to what you truly desire beyond all those social projections. A heart-centred and joyful life is much more empowering than the false sense of security provided by the logical and capitalistic world we live in. I know that the process can be terrifying, but trust me, once you take that leap of faith, the doors open.
You have mentioned God several times. Have you always been guided by spirituality?
I was raised a Catholic but as an adult I disconnected from my faith. I remember, aged 28, when I was living in Germany and had just returned from visiting my now ex-boyfriend in the UK. It was freezing cold, I was walking along the street, my arms loaded with grocery bags, and I was missing my boyfriend. Sometimes living abroad can feel very lonely. I came across a church and I will never forget the feeling when I stepped inside of being hugged by God. Reconnecting with my religion has helped me tremendously in overcoming all sorts of challenges. On days when my sales results were miles away off target and my stress levels were through the roof, I would find comfort in the Bible. Did you know that in the Bible, the phrase “Don’t worry” features 365 times? I now ask God for guidance at each important step.
It might be a difficult question because you are in the middle of another transition, as you have just moved to a new city, are about to get married and set up your business, but, do you have any idea where you would like to be in 5 or 10 years’ time? What do you wish for yourself?
What I truly desire is to be able to earn a living in a way that is in synch with my soul, using my talents for a higher purpose, to serve the community, to touch others, to be independent and to create wealth from within.
Is there anything that you are looking forward to doing this week?
I have been away from my fiancé for a couple of months so I can’t wait to see him. I am also looking forward to my regular running session along the esplanade. Running gives me the opportunity to leave my problems behind for an hour, and feed my soul and body with mindfulness and endorphins. Watching the sun come up while you are jogging is a beautiful way to show gratitude for the gift of life and to start the day with intention!
